The Simplest Question can Foster Intimacy
“How are you?”
One simple question can open us up to a world of connection. Depending on how we choose to answer.
Anyone who knows me well, knows that to me, this question goes much beyond formality.
I’m not looking for a customary response of, ‘’good’’, ‘’well’’, etc.
I’m genuinely seeking to know.
And just the same, when I am asked this question as well — given the right circumstances, I am seeking to share.
Because the truth isn’t ever as simple as ‘’good’’ or ‘’well’’, is it?
Generally, the richness of our inner-world is immense in its complexity.
Maybe sometimes we do want to share, but we don’t know if it’ll be too much for the other.
Maybe sometimes we don’t want to share, because we don’t feel like going there.
Yet when I think about true intimacy, in connections of all forms, familial, platonic, and romantic, this willingness to share and willingness to listen is an essential part of authentic connection.
In my closest of bonds, this has always been a question that is vital for me to receive. I’ve even gone as far as asking my loved one to make it a point to ask me this.
I think sometimes people think that asking might be nosy, and if others wanted to share then they would.
But from my experience, people would rather be asked than not.
They would rather be met with genuine curiosity of understanding by their loved ones.
Yet the reality of it, is that not everyone always has the capacity for that either. And that’s okay, too.
With my Hexagram 13 (The Fellowship of Man) in my unconscious Venus, people tell me things, all sorts of things.
And I deeply appreciate that others trust me in my deep listening.
Just as well, in the close cultivation of my closest connections, the authentic presence and inquiry of my own inner landscape has also been essential in order to foster reciprocity and balance.
I think that deep down, many of the givers, healers, teachers, guides, seers, and space-holders might experience this as well — the desire to also receive through presence and deep listening of ones inner-world.
In our closest of relationships — this is a key practice to cultivate in order to deepen understanding, connection and intimacy.
So tell me — how are you?